I love top ten lists.
Top ten lists are probably on my top ten favorite things list.
It was really, really hard to narrow this list down to only ten things. I'm not sure if that means there are tons of annoying things in the world, or if I am easy to annoy. At any rate...
10. Women who list tanning as a hobby
I have honestly read grown women list tanning as a hobby. Tanning. I can't even wrap my brain around it. I'm speechless.
9. Grown men who live with their parents, have no money or ambition, but dress in $300 glittered Ed Hardy outfits
I believe Pauly D on Jersey Shore said it best when he told the camera that, "what's important is always lookin pimp even if you have no money in yo pocket." Dudes dressing like high maintenance chicks is bad enough. But dressing like a high maintenance chick when you are 35 and still living at home? Loser.
8. People with no personality
I don't care how pretty you are, how great your abs are, or how much money you have, if you have nothing insightful or interesting to say, you are simply taking up space.
7. Drivers who ride my bumper when I'm going 75 mph
Is this the Indy 500?
6. Pretentious snobs
You are not better than anyone else. Enough said.
5. Huge chunks of onion on a cheeseburger
I'm all excited about the burger, I bite in, and hear the crunch of a massive onion that not only makes my eyes water from inside my mouth, but also makes my breath smell like a hot swamp all day...no matter how many times I brush my teeth. Seriously, chop the onions up smaller!
4. Waiting forever on fast food
It's FAST food. "Maam, could you please pull up and wait 6 minutes for your nuggets?"
3. Drunk men who don't take the hint to leave.our.table.
He stumbles up. "Is someone sitting here?" Yes. "Okay." He sits down anyway. Slurs a few pickup lines. No one is even looking at him. He never gets the hint, so I finally have to say, "Um, would you please leave?" He calls me a name. Really? It's my fault you are gross AND dumb?
2. Men who hit on women at the gym
Yes, it's a great place to meet people, but again, take a hint. He stops me, motions for me to remove my headphones to say, "hey, I've been watching you workout, and I think you'd really like the P90X workout." Yes, I've seen it. Thanks. *put my headphones back on* He motions for me to take them off again. FIST PUMP INTO HIS FACE.
1. Panhandlers
I was pretty giving when it was one at Christmastime. But now every major intersection is saturated with a panhandler at every stoplight. How do you decide which one to give your hard-earned dollar to, and more importantly, how do I answer my daughters when they ask, "Mom, why doesn't he just get a job like you?"
The End.
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2 comments:
9,7 and 4 are expecially annoying
Damn you. Your number one is my number one. Its people JUST LIKE YOU that we have a hobo epidemic in this state. QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR THEM. Even the one that "looks" like a great candidate for a buck. Do you think we would be littered with this trash if we didnt give them a dollar. IF they can use their creativity with ways to get a dollar from you then they have the ability to get a job. Why get a job when they are making 20 dollars an hour. Im actively trying to find the congressman who is on board with my thoughts on this and want to encourage his action. Oh and yes I referred to a humas as trash. It makes our state look dirty! Ugh
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