Dani and I had the master plan all lined out.
I would wake her at 6:45 a.m. after decorating the kitchen table for Avery’s birthday. Stack of pancakes with her favorite strawberry syrup, a tall pink champagne flute filled with milk, her birthday t-shirt handmade and ready to swear to school. Dani and I would light the candles, she would wake Avery and bring her out to the table where she would be so surprised and happy!
Dani blew the secret as they were laying in bed last night. I knew she would. Bless Avery’s heart though; she kept it a secret that Dani DIDN’T keep a secret until after the festivities.
And Dani, being Dani, flashed that million dollar smile and said, “What mommy? I was exciiiiiiited!”
Even though Avery’s big birthday bash is tomorrow, today is her actual birthday. Sometimes I forget what it was like to be a kid until I see how excited Avery, smiling ear to ear, is to go to school in her birthday shirt and have all her friends tell her happy birthday.
I can’t believe it has really been eight years…
We met on my best friend’s second date with a new guy. I was not interested in being set up with anyone, had a law class that night, and he was from a town the size of my living room. But she begged me to tag along; I needed an excuse to skip class, so I went. Best friend’s new guy’s friend who I was NOT being set up with was charming, handsome, funny, and…wearing the same shirt he’d had since eighth grade. That is not a typo.
“It’s my favorite shirt. I tore the arm off playing rugby in 9th grade, so my mom patched it and it still fits.”
I thought it was the strangest thing I’d ever heard on a first date until this small town boy with a microbiology degree (seriously, I slept through science in high school and college) shocked me again…
“Did you know a lemon shark has a spiral lung?”
I didn’t have a clue what a lemon shark was, but I knew he had beautiful blue eyes.
Two months later we were head over heels for each other. I was re-learning how to fish with him, riding four wheelers in the mud, watching Toughman on his foldout couch, playing Mario Kart tournaments with all of his friends. But I started getting sleepy too early. Eating like a horse. Skipping workouts at the gym. Missing classes. I was just so unbelievably tired all the time.
When the doctor at the clinic unfolded the test that read positive, the room started spinning. At 23 years old, I was in no way shape or form ready to bear a child. I never thought I wanted children at all, but I had decided that if it happened, it would be much later in life. We stayed up all night, called our families, and finally decided we would move back to his tiny hometown where he could get a job is his field, and we’d be parents.
When I first saw Avery’s face, it all made sense. She was a perfect little mix of our best features. She had my round cheeks, lips and nose with his forehead. She would later be blessed with her dad’s bright blue eyes. Our first night in the hospital she woke up at 2 a.m., finally stirring and opening her eyes. She laid between my legs and stared at the fan while I graced her little head with her first bow. We stared at each other all night, and I knew I would never let anything hurt her and I would always be there for her.
Avery and I have been through so much together in her short eight years of life. Our fairy tale didn’t pan our exactly as I had planned, and there have been many struggles along the way. This beautiful little girl never stops amazing me with her resilience. She is intelligent beyond her years, mature enough to be responsible, but silly enough to act just like a kid. Her personality is fun, interesting, twisted, and sometimes wacky, and she is known by her friends as the crazy one. She is kind to everyone (except her sister at times) and takes care of and looks out for her little sister like a mother hen. She inherited my need to be creative, and makes my jaw drop with some of her creations. Her little mind works in directions most of us cannot possibly go.
I was just a kid when she was born, even though I was 24 years old. She made me grow up, take responsibility, and continue to mature and learn about who I was to be better to her. My love for her made every sacrifice worth it, no matter how stressful or impossible it seemed in the moment. The way she looks at and loves me is so humbling, and I’m sure every mother knows the feeling of at times feeling unworthy of such great adoration from another person.
Avery Clare Smith, you came into my life eight years ago and made me better, stronger, and more loving than I ever thought I could be. Being your mommy has been the greatest joy and source of pride I have ever experienced and there are no words to describe how much I love you. I used to have a list of things I wanted to do in this life, but that has dwindled and one thing is at the top.
Be a great mother to you.
I love you.
I would wake her at 6:45 a.m. after decorating the kitchen table for Avery’s birthday. Stack of pancakes with her favorite strawberry syrup, a tall pink champagne flute filled with milk, her birthday t-shirt handmade and ready to swear to school. Dani and I would light the candles, she would wake Avery and bring her out to the table where she would be so surprised and happy!
Dani blew the secret as they were laying in bed last night. I knew she would. Bless Avery’s heart though; she kept it a secret that Dani DIDN’T keep a secret until after the festivities.
And Dani, being Dani, flashed that million dollar smile and said, “What mommy? I was exciiiiiiited!”
Even though Avery’s big birthday bash is tomorrow, today is her actual birthday. Sometimes I forget what it was like to be a kid until I see how excited Avery, smiling ear to ear, is to go to school in her birthday shirt and have all her friends tell her happy birthday.
I can’t believe it has really been eight years…
We met on my best friend’s second date with a new guy. I was not interested in being set up with anyone, had a law class that night, and he was from a town the size of my living room. But she begged me to tag along; I needed an excuse to skip class, so I went. Best friend’s new guy’s friend who I was NOT being set up with was charming, handsome, funny, and…wearing the same shirt he’d had since eighth grade. That is not a typo.
“It’s my favorite shirt. I tore the arm off playing rugby in 9th grade, so my mom patched it and it still fits.”
I thought it was the strangest thing I’d ever heard on a first date until this small town boy with a microbiology degree (seriously, I slept through science in high school and college) shocked me again…
“Did you know a lemon shark has a spiral lung?”
I didn’t have a clue what a lemon shark was, but I knew he had beautiful blue eyes.
Two months later we were head over heels for each other. I was re-learning how to fish with him, riding four wheelers in the mud, watching Toughman on his foldout couch, playing Mario Kart tournaments with all of his friends. But I started getting sleepy too early. Eating like a horse. Skipping workouts at the gym. Missing classes. I was just so unbelievably tired all the time.
When the doctor at the clinic unfolded the test that read positive, the room started spinning. At 23 years old, I was in no way shape or form ready to bear a child. I never thought I wanted children at all, but I had decided that if it happened, it would be much later in life. We stayed up all night, called our families, and finally decided we would move back to his tiny hometown where he could get a job is his field, and we’d be parents.
When I first saw Avery’s face, it all made sense. She was a perfect little mix of our best features. She had my round cheeks, lips and nose with his forehead. She would later be blessed with her dad’s bright blue eyes. Our first night in the hospital she woke up at 2 a.m., finally stirring and opening her eyes. She laid between my legs and stared at the fan while I graced her little head with her first bow. We stared at each other all night, and I knew I would never let anything hurt her and I would always be there for her.
Avery and I have been through so much together in her short eight years of life. Our fairy tale didn’t pan our exactly as I had planned, and there have been many struggles along the way. This beautiful little girl never stops amazing me with her resilience. She is intelligent beyond her years, mature enough to be responsible, but silly enough to act just like a kid. Her personality is fun, interesting, twisted, and sometimes wacky, and she is known by her friends as the crazy one. She is kind to everyone (except her sister at times) and takes care of and looks out for her little sister like a mother hen. She inherited my need to be creative, and makes my jaw drop with some of her creations. Her little mind works in directions most of us cannot possibly go.
I was just a kid when she was born, even though I was 24 years old. She made me grow up, take responsibility, and continue to mature and learn about who I was to be better to her. My love for her made every sacrifice worth it, no matter how stressful or impossible it seemed in the moment. The way she looks at and loves me is so humbling, and I’m sure every mother knows the feeling of at times feeling unworthy of such great adoration from another person.
Avery Clare Smith, you came into my life eight years ago and made me better, stronger, and more loving than I ever thought I could be. Being your mommy has been the greatest joy and source of pride I have ever experienced and there are no words to describe how much I love you. I used to have a list of things I wanted to do in this life, but that has dwindled and one thing is at the top.
Be a great mother to you.
I love you.
1 comment:
Happy Birthday Avery!
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